2 Poems

I've noticed many poems are verbal calisthenics for the reader, almost the opposite of usability. This is good. Here's one I wrote:

Entropic whirlwinds
Helicopter around you,
Swirling your dreadlocked hair.
You dance with night
And I am afraid.

I'v finished a poem using a form called the villanelle [Link updated 03/12/2004] which I will post when I reconnect my computer at home, having just moved. Dylan Thomas's "Do Not Gentle into That Good Night" is the most famous example of a villanelle. I decided moving to rhyming for most poems wasn't enough, I wanted to use actual poetic forms. It turns out this makes a poem take exponentially longer to write.

I find it interesting how exposed posting poetry makes me feel, as opposed to all the other posts. Here's another one:

Tone deaf to the music of touch,
Color blind to the hues of speech.
Redolent of the copper clutch
Of the modem's shuddery screech.

The first line dropped into my head in the middle of a conversation. The other three took longer. I've never had a whole poem show up: 2 lines is the longest.

As always, comments welcome.

Posted by Chad Lundgren on Thursday, July 18, 2002 (Link)


Posted by Roslee Friday, July 19, 2002 at 06:27 AM

Vulnerability is not necessarily a "bad" thing, Chad. Poetry tends to dredge up or inspire emotions. It is an outlet, a freedom of expression. I can't really blame you, though, for feeling "exposed." The most publication/exposure I have ever had for my various writings have been the literary 'zines in high school & college, a desk-top publication I participated in along with Craig, Patricia, Scott and others called, S.L.A.G. (Silk, Lace and Garters), as well as here on your site. Among friends whose reception one can anticipate, the fear of rejection or ridicule can be minimized, but on the web, it is a far different story. I saw the revison you did on the "title" page for a poetry section....thank you very much. It was very gentlemanly for you to "go ahead and do it."
I enjoy the poetry you have added on 7/18. Thank you for the sharing! Keep nourishing the poetic side of your nature...many women may find it to be an endearing or enticing trait! I really don't have time for a haiku right now, but I will make more happen soon.

Posted by Roslee Friday, July 26, 2002 at 02:16 AM

WHile re-reading these two verses, I must let you know that the phrases which bring about the best emotional response from me are the following:

"entropic whirlwinds"
--the idea of a whirlwind of entropy is interesting.

"tone deaf to the music of touch, color blind to the hues of sound."
--the mixing of the senses has always appealed to me. Some folk look at me as if I were off-kilter just because I refer to the flavor of a color or a feeling, or that someting smells like another thing tastes. Chamomile tastes like honey smells. Good chocolate is velvety.

I STILL want to read more of your verse. While I may not always know what you are talking about with the tech stuff you go on about, I do have a feel and appreciation for poetic expression in many of its forms.

Why don't you go ahead and send me some!